i play with my ass

wtfarthistory:

FART HISTORY. 

For all of our previous posts on fart history, click here (and don’t forget the Japanese fart scroll we covered a while back here).

James Ensor, Les Vents, 1888, etching. Getty Research Institute, Los Angeles

Hieronymus Bosch, The Temptation of Saint Anthony, c. 1500, oil on panel. Museu Nacional de Arte Antiga, Lisbon
Hieronymus Bosch, The Temptation of Saint Anthony (copy), before 1516, oil on panel.  Musée de Beaux Arts, Brussels

Chen Wenling, What You See May Not Be Real, 2009, fiberglass and paint. Installation in Beijing Art Gallery in 2009 

Marco Zoppo, Three Putti and a Dog with Four Figures Behind from the Rosebery Album of 26 folios, c. 1455-65, pen and brown ink, brown wash on vellum.  British Museum, London (1920,0214.17.1 17 verso)

Anonymous Flemish artist, Satirical Diptych, early 16th century, oil on panel. Université de Liège

Aubrey Beardsley, Lysistrata Defending the Acropolis, 1896, illustration.  Photo courtesy of eBooks@Adelaide; The University of Adelaide Library, University of Adelaide, South Australia 5005

He-Gassen (屁合戦 Farting Battle), Edo Period (1603-1868), ink on paper.  Waseda University

Fart History: Maerten van Heemskerck, Allegory of Nature (detail), 1567, oil on panel. Norton Simon Museum, Pasadena


dailysqueezeblog:

Rosemary Shortbread Cookies with Red Grapefruit Buttercream Filling  These cookies combine the sweet and tangy flavors of red grapefruit and buttery shortbread with a savory touch of fresh rosemary. They are filled with a smooth red grapefruit buttercream for a creamy and crumbly combination in each bite. SERVINGS: 14TIME TO TABLE:30 minutes prep, 20 minutes baking.INGREDIENTS:1 cup unsalted butter, softened½ cup confectioner’s sugar1 tablespoon Paramount Citrus red grapefruit zest1 teaspoon finely chopped fresh rosemary ½ teaspoon salt¼ teaspoon pure vanilla extract2 cups unbleached all-purpose flourFilling1 ½ cups confectioner’s sugar½ cup unsalted butter, softened2 teaspoons Paramount Citrus red grapefruit juice2 teaspoons milk or cream1 teaspoon Paramount Citrus red grapefruit zestPinch of saltPREPARATION1. Add the 1 cup of butter and ½ cup of confectioner’s sugar to the bowl of a mixer fitted with the paddle attachment. Mix on low until combined and then increase the speed to medium-high. Cream for 3 minutes, scraping the sides of the bowl as needed. 2. Mix in the tablespoon of grapefruit zest, rosemary, salt and vanilla. 3. With the mixer on medium, mix in the flour, about ½ cup at a time, until all ingredients are combined. 4. Shape the dough into a disk, wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate for 30 minutes.5. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Roll the dough on a floured surface to ¼-inch thickness. Cut the cookies in 2-inch circles. Place on an ungreased baking sheet. 6. Bake for 20 minutes, until the cookies are firm. Let cool for one minute and then transfer the cookies to a rack to cool completely. 7. To make the filling, add the 1 ½ cups of confectioner’s sugar and ½ cup of butter to the bowl of a mixer fitted with the paddle attachment. Turn to low and mix for 1 minute. Turn to high and beat for 3 minutes until light and smooth, scraping the sides of the bowl as needed.8. Turn the mixer to medium and add the grapefruit juice and milk. Turn to high and beat until combined. Mix in the grapefruit zest and salt. 9. Transfer the filling to a pastry bag. Flip 14 of the cooled cookies upside down on a flat surface. Pipe an equal about of filling (about 1 tablespoon) over each of the cookies. Top each with a second cookie to create a cookie sandwich and serve. View Larger

dailysqueezeblog:

Rosemary Shortbread Cookies with Red Grapefruit Buttercream Filling  

These cookies combine the sweet and tangy flavors of red grapefruit and buttery shortbread with a savory touch of fresh rosemary. They are filled with a smooth red grapefruit buttercream for a creamy and crumbly combination in each bite.

SERVINGS: 14

TIME TO TABLE:
30 minutes prep, 20 minutes baking.

INGREDIENTS:
1 cup unsalted butter, softened
½ cup confectioner’s sugar
1 tablespoon Paramount Citrus red grapefruit zest
1 teaspoon finely chopped fresh rosemary
½ teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon pure vanilla extract
2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour

Filling
1 ½ cups confectioner’s sugar
½ cup unsalted butter, softened
2 teaspoons Paramount Citrus red grapefruit juice
2 teaspoons milk or cream
1 teaspoon Paramount Citrus red grapefruit zest
Pinch of salt

PREPARATION

1. Add the 1 cup of butter and ½ cup of confectioner’s sugar to the bowl of a mixer fitted with the paddle attachment. Mix on low until combined and then increase the speed to medium-high. Cream for 3 minutes, scraping the sides of the bowl as needed.

2. Mix in the tablespoon of grapefruit zest, rosemary, salt and vanilla.

3. With the mixer on medium, mix in the flour, about ½ cup at a time, until all ingredients are combined.

4. Shape the dough into a disk, wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate for 30 minutes.

5. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Roll the dough on a floured surface to ¼-inch thickness. Cut the cookies in 2-inch circles. Place on an ungreased baking sheet.

6. Bake for 20 minutes, until the cookies are firm. Let cool for one minute and then transfer the cookies to a rack to cool completely.

7. To make the filling, add the 1 ½ cups of confectioner’s sugar and ½ cup of butter to the bowl of a mixer fitted with the paddle attachment. Turn to low and mix for 1 minute. Turn to high and beat for 3 minutes until light and smooth, scraping the sides of the bowl as needed.

8. Turn the mixer to medium and add the grapefruit juice and milk. Turn to high and beat until combined. Mix in the grapefruit zest and salt.

9. Transfer the filling to a pastry bag. Flip 14 of the cooled cookies upside down on a flat surface. Pipe an equal about of filling (about 1 tablespoon) over each of the cookies. Top each with a second cookie to create a cookie sandwich and serve.


cracked:

As we’ve said twenty-two goddamn weeks in a row, “Imagine if that were true!”
6 B.S. New Stories That Fooled Your Friends (Part 22)

#6. A High Schooler Didn’t Feed Her Classmates Semen-Filled Cupcakes
According to esteemed publications including Gawker, the Mirror (which at this point we’re declaring the Daily Mail’s younger, more illiterate brother), and Medical Daily, the high school girl had been bullied so extensively by her peers that it drove her to the point of baking the cupcakes-that’ll-make-you-fatter-than-any-other-cupcake-can-in-nine-months. But that, of course, only applies if you read the headline and nothing else, because as is consistent with every single article reporting this story, a few paragraphs down you’ll find that it was all a prank, and the only “semen” police found was actually mayonnaise.

Read More

cracked:

As we’ve said twenty-two goddamn weeks in a row, “Imagine if that were true!”

6 B.S. New Stories That Fooled Your Friends (Part 22)

#6. A High Schooler Didn’t Feed Her Classmates Semen-Filled Cupcakes

According to esteemed publications including Gawker, the Mirror (which at this point we’re declaring the Daily Mail’s younger, more illiterate brother), and Medical Daily, the high school girl had been bullied so extensively by her peers that it drove her to the point of baking the cupcakes-that’ll-make-you-fatter-than-any-other-cupcake-can-in-nine-months. But that, of course, only applies if you read the headline and nothing else, because as is consistent with every single article reporting this story, a few paragraphs down you’ll find that it was all a prank, and the only “semen” police found was actually mayonnaise.

Read More